


Soldier x or x Warrior?

by bipabrena



Series: Reibert fics for Reibert shippers from a Reibert shipper [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bertholdt is very upset at Reiner's strange behaviour, Bertl is literally perfect and I love him so much, Fluff, Hugging, Kissing, Like in canon Bertl is very insecure, M/M, Reiner's personality switches back and forth, but Reiner still loves him a lot, but he doesn't remember at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 14:44:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14239548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bipabrena/pseuds/bipabrena
Summary: During a wilderness exercise, a group of the 104th cadets gets lost when Eren and Jean clash. They are forced to stop at the forest to set camp while they devise a solution to get back on track.Meanwhile, Reiner begins to show a recurring behaviour where he appears to lose sense of his true identity, alarming Bertholdt immensely. As a result, he behaves in a shocking manner towards his partner, and Reiner is forced to confront this side of himself once he sees how deeply it affects the one person who glues his broken pieces together.





	Soldier x or x Warrior?

**Author's Note:**

> This was a little rushed but I wanted to post it anyway lol I'm garbage
> 
> This is loosely based on the "Distress" OVA episode, and an interaction between Reiner and Bertl from the AOT2 game.

“No, we’re lost because you’re an idiot,” Eren sniped. “The instructor said we didn’t need to rush, but because you insist on doing things your way everything is messed up now.”

“That’s **_so_** rich of you Eren, trying to place all the blame on me.  Don't act—”

“Because it’s your fault!” Eren stretched his arms forward in indignation, disregarding his impoliteness of interrupting Jean mid-sentence. “You kept trying to rush everything because you were bored. This is an exercise! It’s not supposed to be fun, it’s supposed to teach us how to become better soldiers!”

“N-now, now,” Marco interfered, waving his hands down, attempting to calm the situation. “We all got a little carried away, we should try to think with a cool head on how to proceed instead of pointing fingers.”

“Bertholdt, do something!” Sasha exclaimed nervously. Ymir observed in amusement, with no desire whatsoever of interfering.

“W-what?” he yelped nervously, agitated by the situation. “Why me?”

“I don’t know! You’re… big, scare them into shutting up or something!”

They made out Jean saying in the background, “ _I should smash your face in since Mikasa isn’t here to bail you out like always!”_

Bertholdt had no say in the matter as she pushed him forward.

_Reiner, what’s taking you so long!?_ He cursed.

“Bertholdt, help me out,” Marco begged, starting to lose his composure.

“G-guys,” he swallowed. “please stop. Fighting isn’t what we need right now,” he said. In contrast to Eren and Jean’s volatile, high pitches, Bertholdt appeared to speak merely above a whisper.

They ignored him completely.

Moments later, Connie and Reiner came back carrying piles of firewood. Reiner immediately perked up at the commotion.  

He took in Bertholdt futilely attempting to break up an argument between Jean and Eren. He dropped the firewood in annoyance and walked up to the quarreling cadets and slapped the two with a decent amount of force in the back.

“What do you two think you’re doing?” his tone was stern and impatient. He gripped them by the collars of their shirts and shook them, scowling. “This is no time to be fighting! You’re soldiers, not five year olds, so behave like it!”

He completely broke them out of their trance.

He let go of them. “If you’re done behaving like kids, then get busy and start helping. Connie and I brought some firewood. It’ll get dark soon, so let’s set camp. You can start by building the tents.”

“Right,” mumbled Eren.

“And I don’t want to hear any more of that, alright?” he asked, this time more understandingly. “You’re both skillful, so put those skills to good use.”

They both apologised and left to comply to Reiner’s orders. Marco put a hand over his face, sighing, relieved that was over.

Everyone began to get busy.

“Thanks,” Bertholdt smiled. “I wasn’t sure how to handle that.”

His smile reverted over Reiner’s disappointed expression.

“Come on, Bertl,” he said in a pitch only the two of them could hear. “you’re a pretty skillful soldier too, more than anyone in this group and you can’t even break up a fight? Honestly,” he shook his head. “if I can’t even rely on you for this, how am I supposed to rely on you to help me recapture our hometown?”

Bertholdt’s expression turned to one of complete shock. The words pierced him like a shard of glass.

“Anyway,” Reiner sighed. “get busy.” He squeezed his shoulder. “We have a lot of work to do.”

He walked past him, but Bertholdt was left behind, the shocked expression refusing to leave his face.

_Right…_ he clenched his jaw, lips curving down. _I guess I do need to grow a pair._

He was about to turn to help the others, when he froze again the moment Reiner’s phrasing truly sank in.

_“Skillful soldier.”_

_“Recapture our hometown.”_

Soldier? Recapture?

He wasn’t that, and they didn’t need to do that.

Reiner was speaking differently again.

“Bertl!” Reiner snapped him out of his thoughts. “I could use a hand here,” he requested, one knee to the ground. He was putting the firewood in place.

“Right…” he muttered weakly.

* * *

It was nighttime.

Group one from the wilderness test—Connie, Bertholdt, Eren, Jean, Marco, Reiner, Sasha and Ymir—was gathered around the fire, eating their rations.

They had studied the map given to them by the instructor and recreated the potential road the other groups had taken. If they could rendezvous, they’d be able to get back on track. They only needed to study their surroundings more and compare them to the map. Should that fail, they’d be forced to use their flares. The last resort.

They bickered, and Bertholdt moved his fork around his food.

“Hey,” Reiner amicably wrapped his arm around him. “what’s wrong? Why aren’t you eating?”

“Oh. Um… it’s nothing. I’m not as hungry as I thought I'd be,” he lied. His stomach **_was_** grumbling.

“I know you,” Reiner refuted. “if you’re not hungry you just store your rations away, you don’t play with them. Did something happen while I was gone? Well, besides the obvious.”

“No…” he glared at how the mashed potatoes moved around.

“You can talk to me,” he muttered.

After much begging, Bertholdt somewhat modified the truth. “I um, I guess I feel bad I couldn’t break up the fight. I don’t like feeling…” he thought carefully. “feeling unreliable,” the word left his mouth as though it tasted sour. “I don’t want to be a burden on you.”

“A burden? Why would you even think that?” he spat, clearly offended.

Bertholdt looked at him, puzzled. The fact Reiner’s expression appeared completely baffled is what baffled Bertholdt even further.

“You said,” he drawled, then stopped. “Nothing. Nevermind,” he feigned a smile.

“No, no,” Reiner put his plate away. “Tell me.”

Seconds of silence between them ticked by. Bertholdt frowned, “You don’t remember?”

Reiner shook his head in confusion. “Remember what?”

“You really don’t?” he drawled.

Moments of hesitation later, Bertholdt explained, though he modified the part where Reiner said, _“help me recapture our hometown,”_ and replaced it with _“when we have to go home.”_

“I don’t even remember saying that,” Reiner’s brows furrowed.

Why was Reiner acting so weird? This frustrated Bertholdt in ways beyond his comprehension, in ways he couldn’t quite put in words.

“I’m sorry,” the blond said. “and I’m sorry for not remembering. But don’t let it get to you, I-I probably said it due to the heat of the moment.”

“Right,” Bertholdt feigned a smile.

“Eat, okay?” Reiner requested. “I don’t want you to be on an empty stomach.” He covered his plate and put it away. It was still half full. “If you’re hungry later, you can have my share.” He subtly squeezed his hand with a fond smile.

He hunched forward, listening again to the on-going conversation.

Bertholdt grimly ate his food.

After finishing their bickering, the cadets put out the fire and made groups of two for each tent. To protect their modesty as women, Sasha and Ymir shared a tent. The rest of the groups were Marco and Jean, Connie and Eren, and for last Reiner and Bertholdt.

They bid each other goodnight, and they zipped shut their tents. They stored in each one their respective rifles in case they needed to jolt awake and be on guard.

Bertholdt fell asleep almost immediately, but Reiner was left pondering.

He said something to Bertholdt, something he didn’t even remember. And it wasn’t the first time. It happened occasionally. It's not as though he forgot everything, there were simply certain phrases, phrases from memories that behaved like tiny clips with sound and colour with chunks missing in-between, as though someone forgot to hit the record button. 

Reiner sometimes felt different, he behaved differently, and moments later he’d go back to behaving how he felt was true to himself. He never paid much attention to it, until recently when Bertholdt reminded him of things **_he_** didn’t remember.

He eventually fell asleep, but an hour later he woke up. His eyes opened uncomfortably. He sat up slowly, rubbing his eye with the palm of his hand. He looked down at Bertholdt. He was sweating.

He didn’t think anything of it.

He zipped open the tent and stuck his head out.

The rest of the tents were rather quiet. Was it an animal that woke him up? That’s when he heard a gasp and felt a twitch underneath him. He looked at Bertholdt, who was writhing, panting quietly. His eyes were moving under their lids, and his mouth moved, as though speaking silent words.

Reiner zipped the tent shut and leaned over Bertholdt. He gently pressed a hand to his cheek, feeling it hot and damp.

“Bertholdt,” he whispered. “wake up.” He leaned closer to his face, brushing Bertholdt’s hair back with his fingers. “You’re dreaming, Bertl. Wake up.”

The asleep boy began to breathe more heavily, turning his head back and forth. He produced a frantic whimper, eyes squeezed shut. Reiner sat on his knees and shook him, this time calling his name louder.

Bertholdt sat up straight, gasping for air and looking to his sides frantically. Reiner held his face between both hands, turning his face for their eyes to meet. “It’s okay, Bertl. It was just a bad dream.”

Bertholdt blinked at him, a drop of sweat running down his forehead.

Reiner smiled at him reassuringly, running his thumbs over his cheeks to wipe the sweat off him. He then ran a hand through his hair and pressed their foreheads together. “You’re okay now.”

Bertholdt removed Reiner’s hands from him. He took a deep breath and sat back, hiding the fear in his eyes.

“Hey,” Reiner placed a hand on his cheek. “don’t do that. Don’t hide from me. You don’t have to do that, you don’t have to pretend with me.” He pulled his head to his shoulder. “I have a perfectly healthy shoulder right here, waiting for you to vent.”

Bertholdt remained silent, eyes averted from Reiner.

“Come on, let it all out,” he encouraged.

Bertholdt pulled back, creating distance between the two once more. “I can’t,” he shook his head. “I have to be strong for you, too. I need to be reliable,” he muttered.

Reiner frowned. “Bertholdt…” He crawled so he was across him. “please forget I said that. I didn’t mean it at all.”

“No, it’s okay,” he mumbled. “You were right.”

“No, it’s not okay. I was being an idiot. Sometimes I just feel different and do…” he scrunched his nose in discomfort. “say things I don’t mean. I don’t know how to explain it.”

Bertholdt’s eyes looked sad.

“Aw, come on…” Reiner puckered. “Don’t take it to heart. I didn’t mean it.”

Bertholdt’s eyes insisted on glaring like a sad pup.

“Beeeeeertl…” Reiner drawled. He leaned forward and buried his face on the crook of his neck. This made Bertholdt look to the side, attempting with all his might to hold back a smile.

Feeling Reiner’s warm breathing on him brought him inexplicable joy.

Reiner leaned back, forcing their eyes to meet. “Will you forgive me?”

Bertholdt glared at him in awe. He found himself unable to hold the smile that continuously threatened to creep on his face and nodded. “Yeah… of course I do.”

Reiner brought his fist up, then down to celebrate his victory. “Yosh!”

Bertholdt chuckled.

“I’m sorry, okay?” said Reiner, placing both hands on his shoulders. “I don’t know what goes over my head sometimes. It’s weird, I can’t put it into words. You probably shouldn’t pay attention to some of the things I say,” he smiled. “Half the time I can’t even remember what I’ve said.”

Bertholdt held back a frown. A frown because he had an idea of what was brewing inside Reiner.

“But Bertl, going back to the main point,” he cupped his cheek. “you have to let it out. Don’t let it eat you from the inside. I’m here, I’m always here. You can count on me.”

Reiner frowned at Bertholdt’s expression.

“And I know I can count on you too,” he said, knowing it’d produce the smile he desperately wanted to see.

Bertholdt smiled.

Success.

But it reverted as fast as it came, reverting Reiner’s as well.

“Do you really mean it?” asked Bertholdt.

Reiner hung his head in defeat, sighing. “Your low self-esteem can sure be bothersome,” he chuckled, then looked back up. “Yes, of course I mean it. There’s no one in this shitty world I trust more than you,” he smiled sincerely.

Bertholdt’s lips parted. He grinned.

“That’s the face I like to see,” Reiner leaned forward, wrapping his arms around him. Bertholdt returned the hug moments later, a shade of pink tinging his cheeks. Reiner squeezed him before pulling back, placing his hands on his shoulders.

“We’ll always be together,” he said. “Nothing’s going to change that. We’re going home together, so you don’t have to worry about anyone else,” Reiner looked at his lips. “It’s you and me against the universe.”

Bertholdt’s feelings were mixed. Is it really you right now, Reiner? How long is this going to last? How long until the euphoria is gone, and you go back to speaking gibberish?

What is happening to you, Reiner?

This was Bertholdt’s thought process.

“What about Annie?” he asked jestingly, not wanting to ruin this.

Reiner cupped his face and pressed their foreheads together. “Don’t ruin the moment,” he shook his head with a smile.

Bertholdt closed his eyes, holding Reiner’s hand, pressing it tighter against his cheek. Reiner exhaled slowly, abdomen contracting.

“You really do mean everything to me, Bertl,” he said, bringing their hands down to his chest, interlacing their fingers. “And not just because you’re the closest thing I have to home,” he squeezed his hand. “I really do appreciate you. Maybe your insecurity makes you a little rough around the edges, but your talent and gentle nature really make you second to none,” he smiled fondly. “And I know I can always count on you. So, let’s go home together. Okay?”

“Okay,” Bertholdt smiled warmly in return. “okay, Reiner. Let’s go home.”

Suddenly, the atmosphere around him was stolen the moment Reiner placed a slow, gentle kiss on his lips. His insides felt molten with need, but the nature of the kiss dissolved him and made him unable to react. Eyes reflexively shut, he could only part his lips once Reiner was done.

Reiner’s pulse accelerated. He ran a hand up Bertholdt’s chest, and pressed another light kiss on his lips, then retreated immediately.

“Now, l-let’s go back to sleep, okay?” he asked, attempting to hide his fluster. “We have a long day awaiting us tomorrow.”

He sure didn’t want to sleep right now. He blamed Bertholdt, for being too cute.

And desirable.

“Y-yeah,” Bertholdt smiled sheepishly. He laid back down, turning his back to Reiner. He tightly held the covers to his chest, a small and shy smile plastered on his face. He suddenly felt weight on his back, and an arm wrapped around his body.

“Reiner?” he called, as though asking what he was doing.

“What?” he murmured in his ear. “You think I’m letting you sleep all alone after having a nightmare? Fuck that,” he buried his face in Bertholdt’s hair. He happily took in the smell. It wasn’t scented by a particular fragrance. The cadets didn’t have the luxury to wash their hair with shampoo often, so it was to be expected.

And yet, Reiner still very much enjoyed the sweaty scent and even found it incredibly attractive.

Only on Bertholdt.

He just possessed the particular trait of having a pleasant natural odour, despite being sweaty so often.

Reiner chuckled onto the back of his head.

Bertholdt grinned. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he responded. He squeezed his body against Bertholdt’s. “You are really, **_really_** nice, Bertl,” he purred suggestively.

“I… I’m not sure I want to sleep,” Bertholdt groaned.

Reiner pressed his hand against Bertholdt’s stomach, gradually leading it a little farther down. “Mm… yeah,” he muttered sleepily.

_T-that’s not fair…_ Bertholdt thought.

And it sure wasn’t. He couldn’t help but resent Reiner for being a cock-tease. He ignored the warmth traveling down his groin, and he inhaled deeply, attempting to sleep.

His eyes flared open when feeling a hard bite, then a gentle kiss on the very same spot of his nape.

“Mine,” Reiner murmured.

Bertholdt snorted, shoulders slightly shaking in laughter.

That was Reiner.

His Reiner.

**Author's Note:**

> Just to make it clear, Bertholdt and Reiner have never done anything sexual. Or rather, they haven't had sex. They've only kissed, and even though they do get really horny because of each other, they've never done anything beyond making out and awkward fondling. 
> 
> If you liked this fic, please leave kudos and a comment to show your support! Likewise, if you didn't like how I executed this, feel free to let me know too. I accept all criticism, as I'm eager to improve.
> 
> Thanks for giving this one shot... a shot! *snorts pathetically*


End file.
